Seeking Out Your Old Friends

Today is Day 7. It's a snow day and the federal government is closed and therefore my office is closed. I set my alarm for 5:30 with intentions of getting up and going to the YMCA, but I was too tired and decided against it. It's a challenge to get that going, but I will. Later today I will get on my spin bike and do a spinervals thing, which is way more intense than going to the YMCA anyway.

So, the title. Well. I guess what I am saying is, hello old friend. This blog is a friend to me. I'm running out of willing ears to hear how sad I am. People are great, but that whole helping thing only lasts a while, understandably, and then you gotta just figure it out and not be the drippy sad person at events and in life generally. It may seem like seven days is not that long, but will I benefit from putting off the recovery?

Yesterday's discussion with H2 offered some glimmers of hope, but mostly uncertainty. I can't take too much stock in it. I just have to focus on rebuilding and moving forward. It is still to be determined how that will happen, but I've done all the laundry and folded it. I may actually clean my kids' rooms today. I will slowly work on making my house look tidy and cute.

I have a giant canvas waiting for me to start a big project, but I feel like waiting a few days. I will paint again though. It will happen. Painting and writing are my friends. I started back at painting in 2007 when I needed something beautiful to say or express and art has been so kind to me. I remember standing in the Monet room at the Museum of Modern Art in New York and just being tear-struck at how beautiful. I wonder if he painted those water lillies-- those giant paintings-- because he was working through something. Doing it as a business project would not have been as inspiring. I know. I see the world and it's so lovely and I guess I just want to save it. Maybe that is how he thought. I should pull out my art history books and see I suppose, but I'm not feeling that industrious right now and learning about Claude Monet should be done through art history books, not just "the google."

I went to the market and bought some food this morning. Not because of the snow storm but because I just did. I'm alone this week. The kiddos are with their dad. I bought the kindof stuff that probably drove the person behind me with Coke, potato chips and hotdogs to view me as an asshole. -- Kale, Spinach, Butternut Squash, Brussels Sprouts, Lemons, 2 oranges, bananas, one onion, a water filter, two duraflame-type logs. (but the environmentally clean ones) - yeah- I'm an asshole.

Well, empty house. lots of projects to do. Cold snow day and here I am.

Five Favorite Things:
1. a good stereo
2. planning on getting the Xmas tree down today (i shoved the dumb fireman nutcracker in one of the Chrismas decoration boxes b/c it was staring at me with a very judgmental look)
3. the cup of coffee I'm about to make and enjoy
4. buying a bunch of healthy shit and figuring out how to prepare it in a way that is palatable
5. Getting to stay home and not be at an all-day meeting at a federal agency.