It has been eight days since I received that call at work from H2 telling me to cancel our trip to Arizona and that he didn't want to be with me.
It stings, but I keep reminding myself of his words: He doesn't want to be married, he doesn't love me and he doesn't want to work it out. It is good to remind myself of this because he's done a lot of things to enlist my sympathy after that evening, after leaving us. And I am not proud to say that I have taken the bait at times. I don't want to be weak or desperate, but I also want to be balanced and fair. It's pretty hard.
It's below zero outside. I had to shovel the driveway and walk twice yesterday. It was me out there and a bunch of husbands who didn't leave their wives out there shoveling.
I had a good night of sleep after a day with a few normal meals. Breakfast- swiss chard (went right through me), Lunch- bell peppers, mushrooms and asparagus (eh), Dinner- roasted butternut squash and roasted mushrooms (yum).
I'm going to work out at work in the depressing little gym in the basement. (With my new headphones) (ha). Now, it is time to suit up and go out in the below zero weather and clean off the car, put some ice melt down etc.
Five Favorite Things:
1. having a good night of sleep
2. not being as mad right now as I was last night at H2
3. knowing that I can get through all of this
4. this bulldog sleeping on my feet
5. not having that pang in my chest anymore.
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