Yay, today I did not oversleep. Woke up (sans alarm clock) at 4:45 a.m. after a really peaceful fabulous sleep, out of bed, swim suit on and to the YMCA.
I swam in the fast lane again (I like the scenery). Swam a mile in 36 minutes, not great but getting there. I feel pretty good today. I had a really good weekend and I actually managed to get out on the bike some and that is good. Last evening after work I slipped in a ride and it was a little chilly, but that's okay. I think it got colder as I rode. I felt pretty chilled afterward for a while and had to take a hot bath.
So I heard some interesting stories and background about people over the weekend and it's been making me think about a lot of things. I can think better now that the concussion seems to be abating. This thing where people walk around with guilt and grief--- it really consumes you and it keeps you from being able to connect with people, be loved and love back in a way that works. I've been walking around with grief now for 28 years. I'm trying to learn how to let go of it and be more engaged in a healthy way with people but it's hard to do that. Sometimes the grief you have is all that you have left of a person so you hold it really tight and it keeps you from holding anything else. It seems so logical when you look at someone's life other than your own and you can see what they are doing and how it has impacted their relationships. But when it comes to me, well, I don't have that same perspective. Anyway, I know I'm being a bit vague but I will say this:
Atonement comes from forgiving yourself.
Five Favorite Things:
1. not being too disappointed, but kindof disappointed
2. getting faster on my bike- I rode 18+ yesterday (mainly b/c it was really cold)
3. not missing my opportunity to swim
4. yay! I'm sleeping again. It's been more than six months and I'm sleeping. Sleep is wonderful
5. my house is pretty clean, i like it much better that way.
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