It is amazing how different a person can feel with a full night's sleep. It's been a week now and I've slept all through the night. I feel like a different person. I also know this is progress. I have had some trouble moving foward at a decent pace and now I think I've got a good pace going, not too fast but definitely forward.
I will be in warm weather next week. I'm taking my bike with me and looking forward to getting away from this cold weather.
When I look back at what happened to me it seems really sad, but I'm lucky I found out all this stuff early on. It would have been harder several years down the road. It happened at a time when I can re-boot and move on. I'm fortunate under these circumstances. I'm lucky I can see this only a few months out too. The reality is the entire fall wore on me in a very difficult way and I'm glad to be past that. I'm glad to be getting fixed and I'm glad to be moving on and away. I do spend some time looking back and questioning myself-- I believe that is pretty apparent in some of my posts, but I am ready now to stop doing that. I have some great things planned, I've got two great little boys and an entire life ahead of me. It's going to be a happy one free of the bad stuff I had to deal with earlier this year and throughout last fall. I'm sure life will have more challenges, but I'm ready to move forward.
I was not planning to have my life change so much, but It's for the better. I'm still healing, but I feel like a lot of progress has been made. I could not have done this without my friends and family and without you my trusted readers.
My son Ben turns 15 today. I remember the moment he was born. He was so loud and mad. He's turned into a great young man. I'm so proud of him. These past few months have been hard on him and I hope he realizes that even when someone does something bad to his mom and the family, that we will all be ok-- yes, the world has bad eggs, but it also has good eggs too. My life has been changed for the better with this boy, watching him grow up and learn and grab the world. I could not ask for a better blessing.
You may have noticed that I have not posted the comments. I've decided I wanted to keep those conversations just between us- the reader/me. I thank you for all of your support. We had more than 1,000 hits last week. I'm only a couple of months into this, but it may become something bigger.
Five Favorite Things
1. sleep, first week of sleep since last fall
2. that I will be somewhere nice and warm soon
3. that it is all going to be ok
4. that I don't need to spend as much time looking back
5. a beautiful boy that came into my life 15 years ago
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