Just Keep on Pedaling

I had an activity-filled day yesterday and that was a good thing. The weather was beautiful and it felt good to spend some time in the saddle and out in the sun. I'm headed out again briefly- a ride on the BWI trail from baltimore to annapolis and back and then quickly heading back home to shower and clean up to drive out to Frederick to shoot pictures with an old friend of mine.

What keeps haunting me is that I'm not loved and that I never was. It felt safe and happy to be loved and now it seems that was just something I imagined. I keep reminding myself of this. I went out and got coffee this morning and I was looking at all the other people in the restaurant wondering how many of them were not loved. Probably more than expected. So I'm one of those people walking around not loved I suppose. It's sad but It's liveable.

Anyway, it's a sunny day. I'm feeling okay-ish on the health front, and I'm going to get some time in the saddle. I need to figure out how I move ahead with my life. I feel like I'm doing a pretty good job but it's pretty darn sad at times and I never really envisioned myself being one of those sad types, so I keep it inside. Well I do  tell all of you here (which I suppose is the opposite of keeping it inside). Anyway, I welcome your comments. I'm going to just keep on pedaling I suppose.

Five Favorite things:
1. a bulldog keeping my feet warm
2. another fabulous sunny day
3. really good coffee (decaf of course)
4. More than 100 days and not having eaten anything with a heart or a face (total veg!)
5. that I'm toughing this out (I don't have a choice) but I am doing it.