It was rainy and dreary today on my way into work and to add to it, I was listening to sad music. Sometimes I feel like I'm addicted to this grief stuff. After a fun Thanksgiving weekend, I'm feeling a bit melancholy-- not because the weekend is over, but because I just am. I have a lot of things to be happy about, but my old friend sadness always hangs out too. Today sadness is getting center stage. Today I am feeling the loss of my partner. I lost him a while ago or maybe never had him. These are things I will not ever learn, but to me I really miss him.
I have not been great at the forgiving part, but a lot of that stems from not having the full picture. However, many say the full picture would not make me feel more at peace. I think that's true, but I accept that I will not ever know. I sure wish I could shake this grief stuff, but then again I also don't want to forget the things that mattered to me. They mattered to me. I can say that. I've been pretty under the weather, not sure this time I can shake it. In fact I know I won't be able to. So it goes.
Five Favorite Things
1. having enough $1 in my wallet to have the kids buy lunch today
2. big black boots
3. having a job
4. diving into video editing at work
5. a few years ago
P.S. I shot this picture over the Thanksgiving weekend. I got a little fancy with it. It was super over-exposed and when I went in to fix the exposure, I decided to play around with it a bit.
No comments:
Post a Comment