I had a pretty bad panic attack today on the metro. I actually had to get off and calm myself down a bit. It was super crowded and I don't usually ride it for several reasons. These panic attacks are something new for me. I had my first attack in early 2014, shortly after the trauma of my husband leaving abruptly. It feels like I can't breathe. It's pretty awful stuff. My heart races, I feel disoriented and the entire time I'm trying to talk myself out of having an attack and my advice just makes it worse.
Fortunately, I've not had many attacks. It's new stuff to me. Never had anything like this prior to early 2014. To be sure, it doesn't really seem fair to have some sort of condition as a result of bad choices (terrible choices) someone else made. The good thing is, I'm fine. And I do have faith that over time these panic attacks will be a thing of the past. They are strange. I never understood why people had them. Now I know.
Anyway, my man came over tonight. I was supposed to be on business travel this week but that changed and it's nice to have him here. We took a nice walk to get dinner. For all the bad stuff in the world, there are kind wonderful people. Very calming evening and such a stark difference from the metro ride.
Five Favorite Things:
1. not being on the metro
2. a good brisk walk to get dinner
3. that i'm not going to be the recipient of bad stuff from the ex
4. this man right next to me
5. this man
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