This is us. We are doing just fine, Silly Jack, my thoughtful Benjamin, deaf little Scotty who's been with us for so many years and well, me- a self portrait that highlights probably more wrinkles than I'd like to admit I have- I didn't do photoshop with that because I am who I am.
I woke up this morning after more sleep than I've had in days and I am still very sad but I'm a believer in "the glass is half full" approach. So here's a really good memory.
About five weeks ago I took out Red Beauty One for a ride. It was a strangely warm day but well past the peak of fall. There is this parkway I ride, it's not a hard ride and it's more a thing just to make me happy rather than work out. The sky was this sapphire blue and the sun was so very bright. As I streamed through the air on the road leaves were falling everywhere, golden, brown, red, yellow, orange.It was this shower of color and I was in it and it was so quiet. All could hear was the wind and my breath.
We have the ability to store memories. Some are good and some not so good. I think it's important to focus on the good stuff, like the first time you lay eyes on your newborn child, or the clanking of masts of empty sail boats docked at Sand Street Beach first thing in the morning. I remember those moments so clearly.
This fall I drove out to the end of Long Island. I hadn't been since I graduated from high school. I got gravely sick but that is another story and I am better now. But on my way home I stopped off at all the places I went to when I was a teenager and the things that were so important to me hadn't changed. It is nice that some things stay the same.
It is nice that some things change too. I guess it's a balancing out. Well, I'm going to go downstairs and try and eat something- It will be the first time since Monday. Wish me luck today.
FIVE FAVORITE THINGS
1. being ok
2. a strong will
3. sleep
4. things and people that matter
5. accepting what matters and leaving behind what doesnt'
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